What is the purpose of a gift? Learn how to receive and give gifts of joy not guilt.
The purpose of gifts extends beyond the material value of the item itself. Gifts are powerful tools for communication, connection, and emotional expression.
- Expression of love and affection: a common love language in American culture is gift giving
- Celebration: holidays, birthdays, weddings, and other special occasions as a way to mark the significance of the event
- Gratitude: giving gifts can be a way to express gratitude for someone’s help, support, or kindness
- Custom and Tradition: gift-giving is deeply ingrained in customs and traditions. It’s a way to uphold social norms, strengthen relationships, and foster a sense of community.
- Surprise and Delight: giving and receiving gifts can bring joy and excitement, especially when the gift is unexpected or particularly thoughtful. It adds an element of surprise to relationships and occasions.
Let’s dive into how gifts impact our life, organization at home/work, and decluttering.
Receiving Gifts
The purpose of a gift as a receiver is to receive the gift. Once you have received the gift, you have fulfilled its purpose. Now that the gift is in your possession, it is up to you to decide what to do with it.
- Reflect on Your Values: Consider what’s important to you and your living space. Reflect on whether the gift you received align with your values, interests, and lifestyle. This reflection can help you prioritize which gifts to keep and which ones to let go of.
- Assess the Gift:
- Do you love it?
- Will you use it or enjoy looking at it if it is displayed?
- Does it hold sentimental value or evoke positive memories?
- Does it align with your current needs and lifestyle?
- Have the Courage to Donate it: The last thing the gift giver would want is for you to hold on to something the adds negatively to your life. Perhaps, he/she actually wants the opposite – for you to feel happy, content, and at your best, regardless if you keep the gift or not.
- Express Gratitude: Even if you choose to declutter a gift, take a moment to express gratitude for the thoughtfulness and generosity of the giver. You can thank them sincerely for the gesture while acknowledging that the gift may not fit your needs or preferences.
When you decide to keep a gift, fulfill its purpose by deciding if it is to be used (practical) or displayed (joy):
Practical
- It makes life easier
- It supports you in a specific way
- It is useful
- Place the item in a storage place with intention where it will be used and is easy to access
Display
- Sparks positive feelings when you see the item
- Adds aesthetics and visual appeal to your space
- Triggers a memory and experience you want to remember
- Remembering a person, animal, or loved one
The Desire to Gift when Decluttering
When we declutter, all of our energy and time should be focused on the decision of what to keep and discard.
One of the biggest signs that you don’t love and should not keep an item is when you want to gift it.
We love to distract ourselves in different ways and one of the main ways we procrastinate during the decluttering process is when we have the desire to gift or give items away to loved ones.
What we don’t realize is that this reaction is an excuse to not let go. Instead of giving a gift of joy, we are giving a gift of guilt. The guilt that we feel about an item is then transferred to the person we give it to. Ultimately creating a vicious cycle of gifting and guilt. Common items we have the urge to gift:
- Items we never used
- Perceived high value: expensive, rare, unique
- Sentimental value: association with specific memories, experiences, or relationships.
- Gifts we have received and kept out of guilt or obligation
- Fear of offending the gift giver
- Attachment to material possessions: attached value to physical objects that give a sense of security or identity
Have the courage to let go. When we let go we are are also streamlining the entire organizing process by simplifying it to two piles: what to keep and what to discard.
Please see this list of donation centers and the causes they support. Pick a cause you truly care about. It will be easier to let go and give you peace of mind when you know your precious items will help those who are truly in need.
Giving Gifts
When we look back on our life when we are old, what will we remember? Will we remember the designer pants or fancy kitchen appliance? Probably not. We will think fondly of the memories, experiences, hobbies, pets, and people who made a mark on our lives.
When it comes to giving gifts, give the gift of experience. An experience or excuse, to spend quality time with your loved ones. Time is our most precious asset in life. Life goes by so quickly and it is even more important to schedule intentional time with those we care about.
Have the courage to let go and embrace the most important thing we have in life: each other!
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